Though I’m not a fan of uncertainty, I didn’t plot out or plan what I would do for year four. As a poet and an intuitive person, I feel strongly connected with my compassion and empathy. Love is the strongest motivator in my life. I was fascinated to see how this would change or strengthen for this year.
On January 16th, I had an idea that I immediately acted upon. I was musing about the lack of GLBT public historic markers. Very few of our people or events are honored in a public commemorative way. It would be interesting to gather them in one place, to see the similarities, to get an idea of how our history is being publically displayed. This prompted me to create The Gay Rub. (www.thegayrub.com)
It is a participatory project gathering GLBT marker rubbings from across the world. I started doing rubbings from landmarks in Los Angeles. I rarely go to cemeteries and this project’s scope required it. Through this, I’ve become more familiar with grief. I’ve seen first-hand how others deal with grief. There is also the sad neglect of the graves of our people. To get a clear rubbing, it requires clearing off and cleaning the headstone. On Valentine’s Day, I went to the grave of disco famed Sylvester. It was covered in mud and even had a tree branch over it. I’ve cleaned every marker I’ve rubbed. This is a loving, caring, compassionate act that I’ve been happy to do. These rubbings are important to me. It’s my way of honoring those that came before. At first I wasn’t too thrilled about rubbing Franklin Pingborn’s cenotaph. I had some resentment about his perpetuation of stereotypes and how he profited off of it in his films. Though, when rubbing his name, and seeing his name among his family, I softened. I was filled with compassionate questions as to how it must have felt to know his life was the punch line of every joke. I started to see his being a foil character as more bold than the leading men of the day who lived closeted on screen and off. Compassion sank in on a deeper level for me. Through this project, personally, I’m learning more about GLBT history, geography, and loving my community more.
